Would You Like My Eight Hands?

Yet again I have ignored this nagging voice telling me to get a start on my co-op log book.

Maybe next week lah?

I do not mind lending a helping hand to anyone who asks unless, one keeps asking for more hands to lend, issues a snide remark at how much I do not help, or makes me feel that it is all I am for, a helping hand and nothing more.

My mum agreed to help the St. Vincent De Paul group at their jumble sale today. After some time, the group looked like they needed a lot of help and so, my siblings and I helped out selling a bunch of things. I sometimes like doing things like these. I get to talk to random people and share a little insight into their lives. Swapping stories and observing body language is my favourite pastime.

I was having so much fun, even a snide remark from someone who was not even helping did not bother me.. did not bother me at the time. Seriously, some people should really learn to shut their mouths. I thought that the fact that I am helping should be enough? This is why I try not to take part in any Church-y thing.

Anyway, I did have fun so, '=P' stupid woman!

*****

I thought Santa came by my home and puked all over last Friday, I was wrong. It was just an elf. Santa puked today.

*****

I almost wanted to blog about how much one could pretend that there was nothing wrong and go on treating people the way they do. Then I realised, none of you are worth that much of my time.

The most I can say is that the clearest perspective appears when you are away.

Goodbye to what was.

*****

I think that every year there will be one or two movies, no matter how much I would want to watch it, it will never happen.

This year, 2012 is that movie. Seriously.

-conRad-

The Clearest Perspective

Is it logical to stay with something so good despite not knowing if it fits?

The clearest of answers come when you happen to be away from the problem. I swear that my co-op placement has been less stressful than attending university. It is practically God-sent. I may not feel 100% comfortable (who does?) but it feels right and I do not want to give this up. My hard work paid off.

All those nights I pray for God to help point a path seems answered in some way. Certain things have been remedied, not fully, but the plaster is on the wound. As funny as it may sound coming from me, prayer really does work. Despite all my decisions and all my setbacks, I held and still hold on to one thing that works.

I wish that my situation now lasts till my final year. I just do not want to go back to university feeling all alone and lost in a crowd. Hopefully, I remember what I have learnt while being away and stick to my plans. What carried through this year cannot be repeated.

Brand new eyes indeed.

I wish things were different and everything was fine. It is not. Expectations get shattered all the time and I should really make peace with that.

*****

I am a little sad that Denise will be leaving for America just a few days after New Year. But, I know it is right, most logical, *insert surest possibility* that she should study abroad. I cannot wish anything but the best for her.

I am glad my friends are doing well and that things like this are happening for them. I love how God makes these things possible for friends.

It may not be in the books for me right now, but I am sure I will be given such opportunities in the future. Even if I may sound negative sometimes something ALWAYS happens to discourage and TELL ME OTHERWISE.

*****

I like yesterday. I liked helping out at an event. I like working with people who seem to like me. I like planning the Christmas Party (even though I risk disappointing them). I like how they made such a fuss for 'Secret Santa'. I like working with the new account coordinator. I like doing a good job. I like talking to certain people on the phone. I like learning. I like being able to play with the giant Snake & Ladders game with my colleagues after work ends.

*****

Haiyo! My Christmas wish list as requested by a colleague involves nothing but CDs on Pop music.

I am deeply saddened that the Britney Spears - Ultimate Fan Box Set cannot be found at the nearest music store and according to the sales attendant, there is no news on whether it will be sold in Malaysia. How can this be?

Hello! Ultimate fan here!

*Light bulb moment*

I just realised that I could ask my Godmother to pre-order it for me through Amazon/Barnes & Noble because she loves shopping online. The bad thing is, she would not let me pay for it in the end and I so do not want her to do that for me. She already spends way too much on me.

Haih .. Predicaments.

I cannot order online because none in my family own a credit card or would even let me do it. Seriously.

*****

How many of you get to work with your closest friend?

I am going to have Michelle next to me for the last month of my co-op placement. Yay! It feels like the time I worked with Debbi for Az's internship company. Hehe..

-conRad-

Booked Face

You got to love KLpac's T4YP.

Aziemah and Julie planned to catch T4YP's Lab Project; Mukabuku, at KLpac on Saturday, and I was invited along with Edmund and Azz's sister. The play was pretty good. Some from the essemble were spot on with their emotions and others were almost there. Nonetheless, if the point got across, it was not bad.

The play carried six parts addressing addiction, love and happiness, grief and insanity, mukabuku actions, approaching the end, and what could have been. I loved the fourth part titled 'Top Friends' (ring any bells?). It made me laugh my pants off.

'Remains', the fifth part made me cry halfway as it triggered memories of those who have left and gone to a better place this year. What hit home was a reference to something in relation to Gary and how his current Facebook page looks like now. I teared so much and tried very hard to keep it quiet.

I hate it when I get caught up in the story told.

I suppose the flow of stories could have been better because ending it with Could've Been was a little anti climax especially since 'death' was addressed twice throughout the play.

The day was already awesome and we capped it off at Williams. The food has never failed me, all that cheesy fatty goodness. Lol.

I think I should go out and experience the theater scene much more. Might as well do that than contemplating if I should audition everytime KLpac is looking for actors and never actually going.

-conRad-

Reevaluate

Sometimes, as a president of a student body with a board full of friends, it is not always so reassuring. Even as a president of a student body and having friends around you who are not in the board is also not reassuring.

Like I have said a million times before, it has been a sucky year. A year where people have tested my friendship over and over again.

Some of my board members have been a blessing. It is far less for what I can say about the rest in and outside the board. So many false promises, harsh judgements, lack of trust, bitching without reason, and treating one less of a friend and more of a personal assistant.

People always ask how many of those on my Facebook list are my friends?
I always say all because I have known them in some period of time. Yes, all 500+ of them.

But if one asked, how many are really truly friends?
I would say about 10% from my Facebook list and those friends know who they are. If you have to think, you are probably not one of them. Tough luck.

I hate this year so much for making me have to reevaluate who my friends are. I was so sure before and I was so secure.

-conRad-

Self Praise

How many times can one watch the first Superman movie?
Apparently hundreds when you are my dad.

Yet another busy week that came/is coming to an end.

A colleague of mine, well, one more than the others, opened my eyes much more to the world of PR. Honestly, I never really considered PR as a line of work for me. I know I am suited and I do tend to show an affinity towards certain PR attributes but the creative aspect of Advertising has always filled my mind and fueled my passion in Mass Communication.

However, ever since I started my internship, PR seems quite lucrative as a job option, not only because I seem to be adjusting well but because it feeds my need to learn, influence and call something I was part of, my own.

I suppose it is too early to start making any big decisions and I do have to be absolutely sure. For now, I have never been more proud of myself. I do not use that word so freely when I do something I should be proud of, but it is time I told myself so.

-conRad-

When Two Meet

It has been ages since Sonia and I actually had a whole day out with each other. Nothing is quite like an outing that we have together. The world disolves around us and it would be just the two of us. Nothing matters when we are in our element.

Enough said.

-conRad-

Takes A Toll

It has always irked me and I have always turned a blind eye.

It would seem to most of my friends that are NOT from UCSI that all I am to most of my UCSI friends is the go-to, helps everyone, and gets nothing in return guy. And you know what? They are right.

I ignored it because I believed I was being too judgemental and it is not very nice to think of friends in such a way.

Fuck that!

Best example I can give is having these 'friends' not talk to me since our break and the first time they call me, it is for a damn fucking favour!

Is that all I am for?

Once I fulfill that favour then what?

I'll tell you what, screw me over, not talk to me, and be nice to ask for another favour down the line.

Sometimes, you people make me doubt what 'friendship' really means.

But it is always nice to know that I have so many other friends that remind me that it is not so.

I give you UCSI people way too much face and have way too much expectations.

-conRad-